Wednesday, June 22, 2005

MADAGASCAR, rated PG for mediocrity and some scenes that contain animals rapping.

Ok, I haven't seen this one, but I'll assume that what happens is that sassy-talking animals get themselves into a sticky situation wherein somebody's farm or jungle resort or school for the blind is going to be bought by an evil corporation, which is also probably owned by animals, but mean ones.

I don't want to give away the plot, but the good animals rally at the end just when things look bleakest, throw a bake sale or win a road rally and earn just exactly enough money to pay the taxes and keep the school for the blind going. Then the animals who are voiced by celebrities you've heard of (pretty slim pickins in this case...Cedric the Entertainer and Andy Richter) become famous and are on the cover of Newspig or Swine.

This movie is awful, but mostly because it doesn't have the decency to be truly, truly bad. It's like most of the food in your refrigerator: not good enough to eat, but not rotten enough to throw away, and that really ticks me off. It doesn't even provide you with ironical so-bad-it's-funny moments.

It's basically Dreamworks' way of calling you a dumbass.

On a scale of "Weekend at Bernie's" on the low end and "The Godfather" on the high end, I give this movie a "Madagascar."


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